A Guide to Navigating Work, Life, and Everything in Between

We know that when it comes to equality and fairness, our default systems for juggling work and life are broken. But Work Life Everything wants to bring you more than awareness of the problems—we want to find and connect you to concrete, research-backed solutions! This research page is an attempt at something bold—gathering as many of the existing solutions as we can find and identifying the gaps to drive our agenda moving forward.

Perhaps as you peruse our list of the best resources we could find, you’ll find some of the solutions developed so far have limitations, and they probably don’t work for everyone, especially given the diversity and depth of challenges many families face. We’ve got work to do! 

If you have a work-life-everything question we haven’t answered here, or you know of an important resource we should include to answer an existing question, write to our team! 

WORK

Don’t believe the myths: Women have always been involved in paid work, especially women of color, immigrants, and low-wage workers. They’ve worked while handling the bulk of care and housework. For centuries in western society, women’s work has been undervalued and made invisible by patriarchal family, economic, and political structures. But today, the vast majority of women, including mothers, work outside the home, and they’re an increasingly visible and vibrant part of the global economy. Here we highlight the best advice for women’s advancement at work and for pushing back against continuous barriers to women’s earning and benefits.

Our favorite work resources:

If you are considering a move for a job

Harvard Business Review, How to Decide Whether to Relocate for  Job

Slate, Trailing Spouses: What Female PhDs Teach Us About Lasting Workplace Gender Equality

If you need to speak with your boss about pay/promotion

Harvard Business Review, Don’t Ask for a Raise, Negotiate It

Video: Harvard Business Review, How to Ask for a Raise

If you want to win paid leave or better caregiver benefits at work

Paid Leave US, Step-by-Step Guide to making a case for paid family leave at your workplace

Slate, How the Women of Amazon Won a Revolutionary Leave Policy

Tell your boss about Mother Honestly’s Work-Life Wallet

If you’re telling your manager you are expecting a baby

Romper: When to Tell Your Boss You’re Pregnant

Slate: Your Boss’s Reaction to Your Pregnancy Announcement Matters

If you’re speaking to your manager about a more flexible schedule

New York Times, Parents’ Guide to Return to Work

CNN, How to Ask a Manager for More Flexibility

If you’re looking for remote or flexible work

 The Mom Project

 Flexjobs.com

If you’re returning to the labor force after a break

Forbes, 14 Ways to Get Back in the Game After an Absence From Work

If you're a male ally wondering how to be supportive of coworkers

Workplace Allies

If you’re a domestic worker looking for support

National Domestic Workers Alliance

If you’re considering leaving your job to care for your kids full-time

Today’s Parent: Should You Quit your Job to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom?

Center for American Progress: Calculate Your Financial Losses Over Time

If you’re planning a parental or medical leave from work

Amy Beacom and Sue Campbell, The Parental Leave Playbook

If you’re considering retirement

U.S. Department of Labor, 5 Things to Know About Women and Retirement

NerdWallet, Women Who Retire With Their Husbands Often Lose Out

AARP, 7 Signs You Should Retire Already

 

LIFE

Despite some significant social changes in men’s role in the family over recent decades, women continue to do far more care work and housework than their partners, and suffer long-term economic and health consequences for it.  While major cultural and policy changes are needed to reduce women’s unpaid work load and give them better access to fair and healthy relationships, emerging research is helping families to understand how individual life decisions compound to perpetuate these long-standing inequalities, and how more informed decision-making can disrupt these unequal patterns.

Our favorite life resources:

If you are a caregiver looking for support

Caring Across Generations

If you are moving in with your partner

NPR: Moving In Together

If you are considering getting married or engaged

The Gottman Institute, Answer These Questions Before You Say “I Do”

If you are looking for a marriage counselor

The Gottman Referral Network

If you are considering a prenuptial agreement

Kiplinger, Say “I Don’t” to Unfair Prenups

If you are having trouble with an unequal partnership

BLLx, Better Life Lab Experiments

Documentary, Card Set, & Book: Eve Rodsky, Fair Play

Kate Mangino, Equal Partners

Quiz: BLLx and Kate Mangino’s Equal Partners Quiz

If you have a male partner looking for support as a caregiver

Better Life Lab, Men and Care 

UNC Health Care, For Male Caregivers 

If you are considering or getting divorced

 Mass Mutual, Financial Tips and Advice for Women in a Divorce

 Healthline, The 8 Best Online Divorce Support Groups in 2022

If you're thinking through equity + intimacy in traditional and nontraditional relationships

 Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity

 Jessica Fern, Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy

 If you want to involve your kids in housework?

 App: MAPLE

 App: Joon

 App: melo

 BLLx, Choreganizer

 BLLx, How Much Can Your Kids Help With?

 If you are hiring a nanny or housekeeper

 National Domestic Workers Alliance

 If you are considering becoming a parent

Slate, Six Factors in Whether He Will Be an Equal Co-Parent

 Cosmopolitan, Questions to Ask Before You Have Kids 

 If you need to reduce your mental load 

 BLLx, Mental Load Swear Jars

BLLx, The Hand-Off

BLLx, Eve Rodsky’s Full Ownership Experiment: Conception, Planning, Execution

If you’re looking for dependable child care

Child Care Aware, Starting Your Child Care Search

 Romper, How to Handle Child Care Disruptions Equally with your Partner

 A search tool: Winnie

 

EVERYTHING

 Well, maybe not everything, but we have to start somewhere! In this section we capture those big-level issues that just don’t fall neatly into work or life, but nonetheless impact your life on a regular basis.  Sadly, the U.S. is far behind many of its peer countries when it comes to family-supportive policy and workplace rights for mothers and workers in general. Here, we detail some of the best organizations for you to plug into the larger movement for intersectional gender equality and change the work, live, and do everything else, for the better. 

 If you want to get involved in the universal child care movement 

 Child Care Aware of America

 MomsRising

 If you want to get involved in the paid leave movement

 Write to your congressional representatives through the Paid Leave for All campaign

 Join the state-by-state campaign at

Family Values @ Work

 If you want to get involved in the equal pay movement

 A Better Balance

If you're facing a dilemma that involves choosing between love or life, and your career or financial well being, and looking for a framework and data to help you decide

Myra Strober and Abby Davisson, Money and Love

BLLx, Making Hard Decisions

 If you’re looking for diverse experts on these topics

 Economic Hardship Reporting Project, Working Sources

 …And you can also reach out to us. We would love to hear from you. 


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